Notes
on Confidentiality
Much of the current campaigning focus
on LGBTI issues is concerned with issues concerning the
acceptability of same-sex relationships and same-sex marriage in
Christianity and the Christian Church. For transgender people
the issues are different since those who have obtained legal
recognition of their gender identity through the granting of a
United Kingdom Gender Recognition Certificate are already able
to have a full Church of England wedding, which can also take
place in a Church of England Church.
The integrity of transgender people
and the reality of their identities is coming under increasing
attack by certain sections of the Christian Church and by other
religious faiths. In many countries extreme legal penalties are
being applied. It is vitally important that these are challenged
by people who are able take up this mission. This group
"TranschristianUK" provides one forum through which that
challenge is being made.
However, for other people who are
unable to do this, confidentiality still needs to be preserved.
This may be because of the threat of legal penalties, or
rejection by the Church, family and friends.
For transgender people there are additional reasons.
Gender identity and sexual orientation act independently of each
other. Many transsexuals marry in their imposed gender role, and
do so for all the right reasons and love they possess. However
as age increases the drive gets stronger and if no way is found
to manage these dynamics the outcome can be a total, sudden and
catastrophic collapse. This can have devastating results. When
gender and sexuality are in conflict it is usually sexuality
that is suppressed. There is the destruction of relationships
and commitments through the failure to cope, even when love is
as strong as ever. There is the blame for letting oneself down,
the hurt to other people that has been caused and the guilt for
the inability to conform to the edicts of others and one’s own
expectations. Crippling harm can be created by the attitudes of
some religious groups who heap guilt on transgender people who
cannot follow the path they prescribe. The trauma this creates
can be enormous and further attempts to fight the conflict only
accelerate the demand. Much of one’s self identity is built on a
foundation that is wrong, and a different approach is needed.
The adjustments which are demanded of spouses are at least as
great if not greater than those on the transitioning
partner, and in order to work through the traumas,
confidentiality will always be required.
The Sibyls is a UK-based confidential Christian spirituality
group for transgender people, their partners and their
supporters. It is an absolute requirement of the group that the
confidentiality which any person needs is always preserved. The
Sibyls communicates with some members only by private post, with
other members communication is via an email list, which is known
only to designated people. In cases where members are able to
and wish to communicate directly with other members, a closed
email group is available, and a Sibyls Members secret facebook
page is also provided. Each of these is available on an opt-in
basis, so that members can choose the level of privacy they
require.
In addition to this confidential support role, the Sibyls is
strongly active in campaigning for greater understanding of
transgender issues and the full acceptance of transgender,
intersex and other gender and sexually variant people in the
Christian Churches and society. The group "TranschristianUK"
forms part of that mission. Although it is sponsored by The
Sibyls, however it is run separately from the Sibyls. This separation is
needed to keep the public and the private elements of the Sibyls
sufficiently apart.
As a transgender support group the Sibyls welcomes all gender
variant people, including intersex people, their friends spouses
and supporters to its membership. This includes people who would
call themselves transvestites, transsexuals, cross-dressers,
intersex and gender queer people. The aim of the Sibyls is to
provide the self-acceptance and the self-esteem which comes from
knowing that all people, transgender, transsexual, lesbian, gay,
heterosexual and bisexual people who attempt to live their lives
in ways that fulfil the love of Christ, and who express in
completeness their own identities in roles and relationships in
ways that are true to themselves, are fully accepted in their
own right. This may lead to gender reassignment or it may not.
There is no derogation of personal relationships, of marriage
and of family life and there is no automatic condemnation of any
loving cross-gender or same-sex act: there is no toleration of
abusive sex. Instead of a Church doctrine which destroys the
self-acceptance that is needed, the support that the Sibyls
gives enables people to have the freedom to find for themselves
their own true path in life, the knowledge of God's love, and
the joy of its full expression in the Love of Christ.
Details of how to join the Sibyls are
available on the Sibyls website
www.sibyls.co.uk
or
email:
enquiries@sibyls.co.uk
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